Taking it all down

I threw away flowers today. Flowers that used to be pretty. Flowers that people gave me to say "we want to be there, but since we can't here's something pretty to look at." It was really very cheery to come home to my room full of sweet smelling, beautiful flowers. It made me happy to know there were so many people who were thinking of me.

They are all gone now. The pretty arrangement with the lilies that was purple and orange and fantastic. The beautiful tulips that sat on my kitchen counter and came on the first day I made it downstairs. The pink rose that I didn't take care of (it was a plant) but which was bright and beautiful until everything fell off of it.

I threw everything away on the day that I took my parents to the airport. My mother was here for two weeks watching me heal and my dad came in and we actually had some fun the last few days he was here. It was so good to see them. I'm glad I am healed enough to enjoy In-N-Out and to be able to walk around IKEA.

I'm trying not to make too many symbolic leaps about "throwing away beautiful things" and putting my parents on a plane, but it's hard not to think about them not being here. Especially when Annie is whining again about how Grandpa Jack brushes her hair better than I do, or that Grandma Cathy would have let her watch cartoons. I've got good parents. They care. They love. They leave. This is how it is going to be until someone invents Star Trek transporter unit.

Is someone working on that?